Confessions of a Cat Lover was written for, and first published in Complete Wellbeing magazine, Volume VIII, Issue No.2, December 2013.
The world is
polarised between dog-lovers and cat-lovers. While no one likes to find fault
with dogs as they are the eternal symbol of best-friendship; cats,
unfortunately, are notoriously victimised by the anti-feline. Just last night;
I had a big argument with someone I had just met, endangering our budding
friendship. The polemical debate? He, a dog-lover and cat-hater, versus I, a
cat-worshipper, indifferent to dogs.
The ardent cat
lover that I am, it breaks my heart to see how much these gentle beings are
misunderstood and subjected to extreme psychoanalysis. The first words of
accusation that spurt out of the professed cat-haters being that cats are emblematic
of cunningness, stealth, and deceit! Moreover, there is a strong case for why
cats are favoured more by women, as I learned to my horror during the argument.
As my otherwise-friendly friend put it, women are like cats – they fake
affection to go after a fisherman with their tail perked up, and when they gain
their prized piece of fish, they turn their backs, flick their tails and strut
away in smugness. The fisherman is forgotten, along with his act of kindness,
for now the cat has gotten what she wanted. If you haven’t picked up on the
analogy already, he was hinting at the capricious nature of women to enchant
unsuspecting ‘innocent’ men, catch them in their nets, and cast them away after
satisfying themselves with their own version of fish. I had begun to lose track
mid-way of the quarrel as to whether we were defending our respective preferred
animals at all.
I therefore have
to see myself as this defender of cats—and no, that does not entitle you to
call me ‘Cat-Woman’. Though, with the incidental alliteration that my name has
with my favourite animal, I am sometimes given the sobriquet of “Catty”. I
don’t see why these benign creatures should be seen as anything other than
divine manifestations of angel-like serenity and beauty. C’mon, they were
deified by the Egyptians!
Other than
dissecting cats psychologically, including accusing them of being lazy and
selfish, dog-lovers [read cat-haters] have this compulsion of dismissing them
as good-for- nothing, unlike dogs [the ferocious hounds score brownie points
for their knack of assisting mankind with their intense sense of smell, memory,
alertness, loyalty, blah-blah].
Objection, my
lords and ladies! How can you afford to shut your eyes to all the cleaning up
you have to do running after their poop? As for cats, I doubt there is another
creature with such an intrinsic sense of cleanliness. What about all the ruckus
dogs create with their incessant barking at the hint of a guest at home, not to
forget the street-dogs that either rouse you from your slumber, or never let
you sleep at all? Case-in-point: I am constantly asked by bewildered friends
when I talk on the phone, what I am doing out on the roads or in my balcony at
mid-night; and each time I have to tell them that being in the innermost room
of my house on the 4th floor is not sound-proof enough to shut out
all the barking coming from the roads.
Cats, on the other
hand, are the most peaceful companions for all ages. They radiate a sort of
Zen, with their calm demeanour and closed eyes – a picture of pure meditation
and tranquillity; you can almost see the halo.
Yes, cats do have
a mischievous streak to them! Take the scratches on my arms and legs, for
example. I have sometimes noticed the questioning look in strangers’ eyes,
wondering if they are signs of domestic abuse. Or when my favourite piece of
fried pomfret vanishes into thin air, the second I look away from my plate. Oh,
but aren’t these just adorable idiosyncrasies that come along with the package?
They bring out the inner strength in me when I face the tirade of censure I
receive from my mother when she finds the blanket full of cat-fur, or the
freshly mopped floor with little paw-marks of dirt from the garden. Or the
hollering I hear from dad when he gets bitten, only because he stepped on
mademoiselle’s tail that was so impudently laid right where he placed his foot.
Ah, the pleasure of defending my love. Makes a true knight in shining armour
out of me, eh?
I must say that a
wave of change is now coming. Thanks to Facebook celebrity Grumpy Cat, cats are now being viewed more respectfully, or at
least the grumpier versions of them. They are now seen as paragons of sarcasm
and in-your-face retorts that I am sure many of you secretly envy them for.
They will stand no nonsense, nor bow down to doggish slavery. They are their
own masters and command human subservience. The debate of superiority between
cats and dogs ends thus-
Dog: Humans feed
me, pet me and love me. They must be god.
Cat: Humans feed
me, pet me and love me. I must be god!
