Showing posts from May, 2011


Tomorrow my house gets painted, so had to take off all my posters. While I was completely remorseless, guess who was getting extremely emotional!  Mum would stare and sigh at them each time she entered the room and say with a touch of nostalgia, “kalayaan thonunnilla”…while I shrugged indifferently…. It was only when I climbed the table to take them out, my hands stopped unconsciously at the now yellowed cello tapes, my eyes locked with theirs… the years of togetherness passed before me…..that day when I had put them up so lovingly… perhaps never to put them up again…. End of an era… End of a part of me…

(written some time in early 2008)

Morning Walk

This morning a most wonderful thing happened to me. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. When I woke up in the morning and looked out at my garden…the time being around 8 and the sun had not come out fully….just a few rays streaming out….. My garden looked so white as it was covered with dew. I decided to go down and take a walk barefoot. And as I did I realized it was one of those moments when I could forget absolutely everything and there were no cares at all. One of the most enthralling and rejuvenating moments….almost a kind of meditation…a spiritual feeling seemed to overpower me. The simplicity of the pleasure relaxed me so much that I went on and on till the sun came out and the dew started evaporating. And as I walked on the ‘white’ grass, my footprints left the grass green where I had walked….just like the way it is while walking on a beach. And the dew was so cold and fresh that I felt my entire soul being cleansed……

At the end of it my feet were so…

My first ever poem in Malayalam...

ജനാലക്യരികില്‍ നിന്ന് നിന്നെയും കാത്ത്,ഈ രാത്രി ഒരു ജന്മം കഴിഞ്ഞു.. എന്തെ നീ എന്നോട് മിണ്ടീല എന്തെ നീ ഒരു വാക്ക് ചൊല്ലീല... കനവില്‍ വരുമോ, അതോ നിലാവില്‍... നിന്‍ മുഖം കണ്ടു ഈ മേഘങ്ങളില്‍ നിന്‍ വാസന വന്നു ഈ കാറില്‍... നിന്‍ ഓര്മ പതിഞ്ഞ ഈ ഹൃദയത്തില്‍, ഈ അധരങ്ങളില്‍ നിന്‍ പേര്, ഒരു തുള്ളി ചുംബനം ആശിച്ചു പോയ എന്‍ ആശയില്‍ നീ വന്നു ചേര്, എന്‍ ആശയില്‍ നീ വന്നു ചേര്...

Below is the English translation by Professor Prem Kumar Vijayan from HinduCollege, DelhiUniversity:
Awaiting you by my window
A lifetime measured in one night….
Why won’t you speak to me,
Why won’t you speak one word…?
Will you come in dream or in moonshine…
Your face in these clouds,
Your scent in this breeze….
In my heart slowed by memories of you, the lilting of your name,
Come meld into my desire, desirous of kisses,
Come meld into my desires….

White Shirt

Graduation day gift
She'd wrapped it in purple and gold
"To make you feel like a prince
For a princely rank" - a robe.
It was crisp and bright
Just like her smile
That lit up the world - and mine.
"Wear it on my birthday
With your new Levi's
And when we go out for dinner."
I promised I would, like a good big brother.
Protect it, protect her. Cherish it, cherish her.
Still do, despite the change in colour.
Now no more,
The whiteness gone.
The brightness gone.
It lies there,
Dusty with mud
Splashed with blood.
Still unopened,
The scratched-out price-tag dangling.
Priceless - just like her smile :
Jingling, tinkling.
I pick up the shirt.
I pick up my sister.
Lay her head on my arm.
The soiled shirt, the spoiled shirt.
My beloved sister, my dead sister.
Hit by the the truck
Running towards me
Across the road
To give me my present
The graduation day gift
Just like her smile
Crisp and bright
A shirt - white.

The Resplendent

A resplendent gift was given to me, Whose womb gave birth to divinity. An angel who was sent to earth, She was the one who gave me birth. With all her love, she protected her seed And answered my every call and need From seedling to youth to the handsome tree, She helped me to become the real me. Giver of strength, protector of my soul She is the one who completes me into a whole. As firm as a rock, as gentle as a feather, God sent her to me…and I call her – my Mother.

Pieces of Faeces

The entire world’s a big damn trash Where hopes and dreams meant to crash When stained glass crushes into junk Every next guy turns out a skunk Oh friendship is crap – slurry of shit Just let yourself wrap – in piss and spit When every damn fucker shows his worth You doubt yourself – your existence, your birth Just let it all go It’s just your pieces of shit you know To be flushed down the pot To be remembered not Just be yourself, you are just you These pieces of shit are far and few Just let it all go – all that you don’t need It goes out in your shit – an unwanted swallowed seed Roses can also turn out to be rotten There are some bitches that can’t be forgotten Think of nice things that are cute Not all are bad, not even a prostitute Do not compare – you are divine Though some shits intrude – cross the forbidden line You cannot please everyone Least of all a fucked up chum Be courageous, the world is your oyster Do not yield to fuck and boaster No use crying over spilt milk The world is filled with fuck and …

You'll Always Be In Front Of My Eyes

When I have no words to call you When my hands don’t move to hold you When my ears shut and I don’t hear you Don’t worry, my heart will remain open My soul – with your love will be soaken.
When you called me and I was busy The next time you held me, I felt dizzy. When I wasn’t looking, you were there More sweet waiting, you couldn’t bear. Angry, you turn to go It’s this restless you that I want more.
You play hide-and-seek You run far and wide ‘Cause of you I can’t speak So I wait with my arms open wide Wherever you hide, be it day or night You’re safe in my heart, and that’s alright.
Whether it’s your smile That hides behind the clouds Or even your eyes that set below the skies, I’ll always be the day that follows your night For you’ll always be in front of my eyes.

The Melting Pot

Back from the third round of K Nags It's half-past twelve and we're rushing. The load undisturbed in our bags We reach D-school - weary legs and cheeks flushing.
There's ten minutes to go before class starts Add another five: "Let's go late. Now that we're here, let's sit for sometime, Have some chai, and samosas in a plate."
"In the sunshine, under the trees; Or behind J.P teastall where there's breeze?" "Any place where there are no dogs...pleaseee!!"
Lovers have monopolised the stretch under the trees, Professors usurp the haunt outside the xerox-shop With two chais at a one-rupee discount The cemented area behind J.P's is where we flock.
Then it begins - honing the skills of observation: Chat and churn, Watch and learn: The specimen that throng, Alone, or with friends along. Waste? - We couldn't agree. New taste? Maybe. (That reminds - we're still hungry!)
Next pit-stop - inside the canteen. Is it very crowded? There's a corner empt…